Faithfulness

It has been a roller coaster ride for me thus far. Before I left I was sure that I was coming here and would be involved with the church right away I was more excited for it than school. Then I got here and was so confused because the church had seemed to be a dead end, no contact with them or anyway to get there. This caused me to wonder why I was here because, I was so sure it was to get involved with the church. Silly me, I have a tendency to get fixed on one thing and cling to that. By doing this I miss out on all the other really great things the Lord brought me here to see and do. I really believe that He used this first month to rock my world and remind me that it isn't MY world, He is in control and sometimes what He has got in store is wayyy different than I ever thought (and so much better). Slowly my confidence for being here slipped away, He was teaching me how to live by His confidence. Now this may not make sense or may not be a complete sentence but what I mean is that I thought I had it all under control. I made the mistake of allowing my confidence in what I thought was His plan become cockiness in a sense. By taking my confidence away it forced me to rely solely on Him and forced me to have confidence centered around Him and His plan for me here. I struggled a lot the first few weeks with letting go of my old ways and how I did things back in the States. I was so used to having an excellent support system and a community of believers around me at all times that it was hard to have no one to talk to about the way I was feeling. Maybe it was a little bit of my own pride that was getting in the way of me being real and facing the fact that I was way more scared than I ever thought I would be and lets be honest.. I miss my baby blanky! Yes, I am 20 years old and still love to snuggle with my blanket. My only hope is that this doesn't become an issue for my future husband.. this could be a make or break it situation. The blanky always wins. Okay not really (but really). The great thing about being scared is that it causes us to cling to something else and for me that something else was Him. Being scared actually is and was a blessing to me because it is childish to be scared. Why? Because God has got it. Trust. Trust is one of those things I have to wake up every single day and choose to do. I have to consciously choose to trust the Lord multiple times throughout the day and maybe even every 5 minutes. It is a battle and not an easy one at that but trust, well it is everything.

I know that I am suppose to trust the Lord, I get that. But it is way easier said than done, I think I am trusting Him and then I find myself one second later planning the rest of my life again! I then proceed to give myself a mental slap in the face. I would look like an idiot if I really slapped myself but maybe that would work better.. anywhoo. I realized that I needed to stop pitting myself and the fact that things were not going like I had thought they would. I came to the conclusion that sometimes God gives us callings but He isn't just going to lay it all at our feet, that would just be too easy! We have to do some work too, we have got to fight for it. So I decided to ring the church up and see what would happen after that (I probably should have done this earlier but of course my thought process was, "Oh if this is something the Lord wants He will make it known to me or they would answer my email if this was what the Lord wanted"). I think as Jesus followers we have a tendency to think that way. Talking to the lady, Denise, on the phone I got a swift kick in the behind that was reaffirming what I already knew: things won't just be laid in your lap. Denise and I quickly got to talking and I found out that there is indeed a bus that goes near the church, that her daughter lived in Texas (where my sister lives), and get this her husband led Younglife in Melbourne!! I think I just started laughing when she said that not because it was funny but because the Lord is so funny. It reminds me that He has personality, I could just imagine Him smiling down at me. I think He and I both had been waiting for that phone call a long time. So once again I am astounded by the faithfulness of my Savior, He is everything good. After waking up at 7 o'clock to get ready and make an 8 o'clock bus to take us into town (might I add that service wasn't until 10), after waiting for the wrong bus that was suppose to show up at 9:30 and never did, and being told that the right bus wasn't to come until 10:30 which ended up really coming at 10 (such a blessing), and running across the Australian highways, we made it. I walked through the doors of Cairns City Church with three amazing people at my side this past Sunday. The song that hit our ears right away was a familiar one to me, the Revelation Song by Phillips, Craig, and Dean. Here is a tiny part of the song if you need a refresher:

"Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery"

 Needless to say there was a fountain of emotions running through me when I got there and as I stood and watched all of these people lift their hands up to the Lord I was filled with immense Joy. I was so overwhelmed (in a good way) that I began to cry. The last 10 months from beginning this journey until that moment, washed through me like the raging sea. I had so badly wanted to see that their were believers somewhere else than the States and what I was familiar with. I know that may sound naive but I have read in the Bible about so many believers all over the world in different countries and since I had never been out of the country before I had never witnessed it (typical human wanting to literally SEE everything) and I had only seen the believers who I was surrounded by from my own community. That may sound stupid and I feel kind of stupid for saying it but I swear it makes sense in my head! After I was done with my sob fest the rest of the service went great and one thing that has come to a surprise to me is the longing for partaking in communion. It is something I take advantage of back in the States just because I have a church and I know I can go whenever on Sundays. Being here in Australia that privilege was taken away from me. Communion is just such a symbol and acknowledgement of what Christ did for us and it is so apart of who I am. I know that He would love me anyway if I took communion or not but for the first time I actually missed it. Who would have guessed out of all the things to miss it would be that?! Oh wait I know who. Lame! I wish I could be that cool and "all-knowing". I bet everyone would want to be my friend then!! Anyways, after the service we went to lunch with some amazing women and had some great food and chats. They even offered to pick us up every Sunday for church so we wouldn't have to take the bus. Wow. He spoils me.

So lets just say that it was not easy getting there and lets be honest it wasn't any of my doing that got us there. It was quite an adventure if you ask me.

P.S. here are some fun random pictures:

Mossman Gorge -Daintree Rainforest

Hiking in the Daintree Rainforest